The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment. Everything there was to do seemed like too much work. I would come home and I would see the red light flashing on my answering machine, and instead of being thrilled to hear from my friends, I would think, “What a lot of people that is to have to call back.” Or I would decide I should have lunch, and then I would think, but I’d have to get the food out and put it on a plate and cut it up and chew it and swallow it, and it felt to me like the Stations of the Cross.
And one of the things that often gets lost in discussions of depression is that you know it’s ridiculous. You know it’s ridiculous while you’re experiencing it. You know that most people manage to listen to their messages and eat lunch and organize themselves to take a shower and go out the front door and that it’s not a big deal, and yet you are nonetheless in its grip and you are unable to figure out any way around it.Andrew Solomon, Depression - The Secret We Share, TED talks
bipolardigerati asked: red or black licorice? (despite the fact there's no such thing as red licorice)
For the longest time I hated the taste of black licorice. It was one of those things only adults liked, like coffee and cake with liquor in the frosting. So I liked red Twizzlers well enough, but they were boring and hard and sugar was never really my thing. (I’m a salt kind of girl.)
Years later I finally tried the black Panda licorice. And because it was soft and chewy, or maybe because my taste had changed, I loved it.
All hail black licorice.
redcloud asked: Passion or contentment?
This one elicited an actual “aw, gee” from my mouth.
Passion is really seductive. But it burns fast and hot and then all you have left is ash. I’ve experienced passion and I’m glad I have. (My teenage years were intense.) But I must be getting old because what I really want *now* is contentment. Centeredness.
Would I feel so inexorably drawn to peace if I had never been through the fire? I don’t know. But I doubt it.
lovelornfool asked: last one (also, i am revealing myself here. i'm the one responsible for the last few asks. did i inconvenience you?) :: winston smith or bernard marx
Hi! No inconvenience at all.
OK, Brave New World and 1984. Neither is fresh in my mind but in the end, Winston Smith gives himself over to Big Brother and Bernard Marx hangs himself. Which is better? I think this one is a draw. They both erase themselves.
Anonymous asked: madison spencer or toru watanabe
I haven’t read Damned so I can’t really speak to Madison Spencer. And my memory of Norwegian Wood is that the book itself was really great but Toru Watanabe (the narrator) was thoughtless and petty. I tend to like Palahniuk even though he’s REALLY problematic. Especially when he writes women.
(Madison Spencer is a 13-year-old girl who finds herself in hell, says the Wikipedia page, and then goes on to describe the novel as inspired by Judy Blume and a “Breakfast Club set in hell”. What the actual fuck, Chuck?)
This is a fantastic question, but sadly one that I’m not equipped to answer.