July 2011
Jul 26th
20 notes
Jul 24th
32 notes
June 2011
Jun 21st
75 notes
Jun 6th
52 notes
2 tags
Jun 6th
71 notes
May 2011
2 tags
May 30th
59 notes
3 tags
May 30th
95 notes
2 tags
May 30th
136 notes
“In Turkey we have saying. ‘Sometimes if you shit hard enough, you can...”
– A co-worker. I’m not sure what this means, but it sounds like encouragement. Also, yes, co-worker. Meaning I got the job. And have started already. I’m exhausted, and I love it. I’ll post more about that when I dig up some energy.
May 30th
49 notes
1 tag
“I feel like I’m four again!”
– Bean, thrilled because I got him a new pair of silver sneakers, and also his first library card.
May 25th
1 tag
May 22nd
104 notes
I had a job interview this morning.
It went so well, you could punch me in the face right now and I’d just smile sweetly and ask if you want to talk about it.
May 22nd
70 notes
1 tag
In honor of my sleeping through the Rapture...
I just renewed my domain name, thereby officially admitting that - despite all grumbling threats to the contrary - I plan to internet for at least another year.
May 21st
44 notes
blanddiva11 asked: You have been given a chance to date 5 famous men who are no longer alive. (They are alive for the purposes of this inquiry).
Which 5 men would you pick and why?
May 18th
34 notes
1 tag
May 17th
96 notes
1 tag
“TROJAN MAN KEEPS YOU SAFE!”
– Bean, proving that it’s not the TV that the problem. It’s the commercials. 
May 17th
45 notes
4 tags
I'm an arrival/departure junkie.
There’s really nothing sweeter than coming back to a place I left a year ago. Fights and grievances evaporate, everything appears shiny and new, and I find myself appreciating details I might never have noticed if I lived here all the time. People are happy to see me, and instead of uncomfortable conversations about what I’m doing to make a living, we chat about my fabulous tan.  One...
May 17th
69 notes
2 tags
May 17th
April 2011
1 tag
Apr 29th
30 notes
1 tag
Apr 29th
2 tags
Apr 28th
106 notes
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us...”
– Ira Glass NOTE TO SELF. 
Apr 28th
72 notes
1 tag
“Lemme tell you something about dragons, Mommy. They stole their tongues from...”
– Bean
Apr 27th
55 notes
1 tag
Apr 27th
53 notes
Apr 25th
41 notes
1 tag
“That man is the warlord.”
– Bean’s father, in response to any mention of Ronald Reagan. 
Apr 24th
41 notes
1 tag
“And speaking of sex, Taggart and Reardon’s sex scene is unusually awful because...”
– Brad Reed I once wrote a paper for a French Lit class in which I used Atlas Shrugged quotations to support the thesis that gifts of jewelry are symbols of ownership.  No wonder I don’t have a career.  Also, this movie review made me laugh. 
Apr 22nd
29 notes
2 tags
Apr 20th
117 notes
1 tag
Apr 19th
27 notes
When bad things happen to other people.
trigger warning I spent most of Sunday in the boat yard, making use of the internet and laundry facilities, neither of which I enjoy at home. It was a beautiful day, and quiet. Bean and his half sisters played happily in the water while I sifted through the internet and waited for our clothes to dry. Bean’s father was there too, chatting with the barmaid and watching cricket on the flat...
Apr 19th
“Can you make it sound more purple?”
– (via clientsfromhell)
Apr 18th
221 notes
1 tag
I never correct
people who assume I’m Canadian. 
Apr 15th
3 tags
Apr 15th
56 notes
“Stop touching me with your wet and sandy self.”
– I have boundary issues. 
Apr 15th
30 notes
1 tag
Apr 14th
82 notes
3 tags
Me o'clock.
1. I never thought I’d say this, but I haven’t done much of anything on the internet for the last year. I still post from time to time, but I haven’t written anything of substance (here) in ages, and lately I go weeks without even checking my email. This time last year I was posting fifteen times a day.  2. I still think about the internet - and the people in it - all the time,...
Apr 14th
79 notes
1 tag
Apr 14th
90 notes
Apr 10th
109 notes
1 tag
I made up a new word.
Twenvy is a noun. There’s also an adjective form: twenvious. In context:  My twenvy is at full-mast after seeing photos from this weekend’s gathering in Chicago.  I’m so twenvious I almost can’t stand it, but I soothe myself with the knowledge that I will be at the next one, so help me. 
Apr 10th
65 notes
1 tag
Things I might have said tonight.
Talk to me in gallons, baby.  (I don’t speak Celsius.) 
Apr 2nd
41 notes
1 tag
Apr 1st
36 notes
1 tag
A tiny story.
monkeyfrog: Once upon a time there was a princess who loved popsicles. She wanted to eat popsicles every day, and her fiance prince was happy to deliver.  The prince and princess married, and the prince refused to give the princess popsicles ever again. He wouldn’t even discuss popsicles or make eye contact with the princess. Among other things. So the princess left the tower and moved to a...
Apr 1st
103 notes
1 tag
Apr 1st
42 notes
Apr 1st
March 2011
2 tags
“O HAI PIZZA PLANET MOMMY.”
– Bean I admit that sometimes I edit his material, but not this time. Pinky swear. 
Mar 17th
37 notes
2 tags
Mar 17th
90 notes
The Psychology of Kryptonian Urination
coyotesqrl: Clark Kent has a notoriously shy bladder.(1) Superman, on the other hand, would piss on Darkseid to take the piss out of him.(2) So, you’re Lex Luthor and you desperately want to burn down a building(3) but the big blue schoolboy has come and, as is his wont, he’s using his super-pee to put out the fire.(4) How do you stop him? Easy. You beam a Batman hologram right in front of his...
Mar 12th
2 tags
Mar 12th
47 notes
1 tag
When French people tell you your American accent...
cute and reminds them of Jean Seberg, that’s a compliment.  I assume. 
Mar 11th
33 notes
Mar 11th
83 notes