So a few weeks ago I figured out that I’ve been wearing the wrong size bra. For, like, five years I’ve been wearing one that’s two sizes too small, and my eye-rolling mirth at my dumbassery is eclipsed only by the huge sense of relief my bosoms feel at finally being able to breathe again. I didn’t even know bosoms could breathe, did you? Of course you did. You’re also wearing the right size bra, smartypants.