messy glory

Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:40pm with 57 notes View comments

To sum up.

1. I worry that I’m a jerk. I hope that means I’m not a jerk, because jerks don’t worry about being jerks, right?

2. I’ve been taking gabapentin for a month now, and it’s really helping my physical symptoms. My chronic pain has quieted to a dull roar. I am slow to anger. I am becoming a better version of me.

3. But I’ve also been sleeping my face off. Like, six hours of sleep at night and then another six during the day. Maybe my body just needs the rest. Maybe my nervous system is finally calmed down enough that I *can* sleep. For that, I am grateful.

4. For missing so many hours of every day, hours when I could be DOING THINGS THAT MATTER? For that I am not so grateful.

5. I should be working. I have a translation deadline tomorrow. Three thousand words into Spanish. And then French. This project is my dream gig, you guys. And I’m so going to suck the marrow out of it.

Right after I take a nap.