My dad has been married to my stepmother for almost 20 years. My stepmother has four sisters. I share a first name with one of them. This other Maria is such a personality she makes me look like a wallflower. I am “la otra Maria” and I accept this because she’s 70-something and is in better shape than I am. It’s not even like she’s in another league. It’s like she’s playing a different sport entirely.
Anyway. We’re Facebook friends and whenever she comments on my photos she does so IN ALL CAPS and invariably ends with I AM MARIA YOUR FATHER’S SISTER IN LOW [sic].
I love her but one of these days I am going to get sassy and respond GODDAMMIT TITI I HAVE KNOWN EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE SINCE 1994.